Wednesday Morning Slammers

Wednesday Morning Slammers

Featuring “Till the Casket Drops” by ZZ Ward

A brief history

Ever since Salami Slammers came out and everyone and their brother started to make them, I started wondering if there were any limits to the Slammer concept. Are there any limits? Yeah, probably. Have I reached them? No! These breakfast slammers, or “Wednesday Morning Slammers” if you will, got their name after being baked on Tuesday night and eaten on Wednesday, but if Thursday rolls around and you’re looking for something to make for breakfast on Friday, don’t worry: I’m pretty sure they’d taste the same. That’s just one example of the versatility of this dish.

A brief history

I saw this album cover on iTunes a few weeks ago and it really piqued my interest. Was it because of the stunning blue-eyed blonde on the cover? No, although I noticed her immediately after. It was because the name of the album, “Till the Casket Drops,” is the name of a great album Clipse, a rap duo, released a few years ago. So I’m sitting there wondering if this girl just decided to release an album of Clipse covers, which would be cool but kind of hard to do, or if she just has the balls to name her album the same thing.

My Goal

In keeping with the same theme, I’m going to be listening to a brand new CD of songs I’ve never heard, and attempting to make something I’ve never made before.

What You’ll Need:

-Bacon (I used Turkey Bacon, for all the ladies out there)

-Crescent Rolls (I used reduced fat, for all the ladies out there)

-Cheese (I used American, because this is America)

-Eggs

-Tabasco Sauce

-A large baking tray

-A Frying Pan

Note: I did a search of ZZ Ward’s album lyrics and the most common word is “Whoa.” I don’t think this is significant in any way but I might be using that word a lot in this post.

Note 2: It took me three seconds to determine that this was not an album of Clipse covers. She sings. I’m hoping it’s not going to be 45 minutes of boy problems.

I already had fully cooked Turkey Bacon in my fridge, so I didn’t need to fry the bacon, but I thought “Whoa, if I fry the bacon, the eggs can cook in the leftover bacon grease.” I used 6 eggs and 13 slices of bacon total.

While the eggs were scrambling I laid out the crescent rolls. When they were almost done I added about half a cap of Tabasco sauce (pictured lower).

I was listening to the album as I was cooking, and at this point, I was about 5 songs in. I couldn’t tell if I really liked her or if she was just a smoking-hot, but slightly less talented version of Adele with a trendy hat. I was also confused. Was it OK that I was listening to this album? All she seemed to be singing about was guys who had done her wrong, or her adventures giving other guys the ol’ run-around.

After the eggs were scrambled and all the bacon was fried, I begun the assembling process. For each slammer I used ½ - 1 slice of bacon, roughly a tablespoon of scrambled eggs, ½ slice of white American cheese, and a few drops of Tabasco sauce.

Note: Start layering with the bacon, not the eggs. I made my first slammer with the eggs layered first but then I was like Woah, this isn’t working. The eggs kind of soaked through the bottom of the roll and I was worried that as they cooked they’d leak through the bottom and cause the entire slammer to fall apart.

After I was done rolling them, I placed them in my preheated oven for about 15 minutes. “Charlie Ain’t Home,” the 12^th track on the CD, came on about this time. It’s acoustic and probably the best-sounding song on the CD. But it’s about messing around with another guy when, you guessed it, Charlie ain’t home. That was my problem – if someone walked in on me listening to half of the songs on her CD I feel like I’d have some explaining to do.

And that’ll do it. Wednesday Morning Slammers.

Final Count

Two tubes of crescent rolls, 13 slices of bacon, 10 slices of cheese, and as much Tabasco sauce as you’d like (I used about two tablespoons total, I should’ve used more) yields 16 slammers.

Final Review

Her music is heavily Blues-influenced. She looks like a model and makes you wonder where that sultry voice of hers comes from. She seems to be a more than capable guitar player. She writes all of her songs. I’m pretty sure that if I saw her live I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of her. With all that said, her album leaves a lot to be desired. It wasn’t 45 minutes of boy problems as I’d initially been worried about – it was about 25 minutes. It’s not as annoying as a Taylor Swift CD and not as boring as an Adele album – but it’s not really remarkable in any way. No song made me stop and say “Woah.” The closest were the 5^th track, “Cryin Wolf,” in which she calls upon Kendrick Lamar, an upcoming star in the rap game, to help her out, “Move Like U Stole It,” which despite the disappointingly trashy spelling of the word “you” is a pretty solid song, and the aforementioned “Charlie Ain’t Home,” which is posted below. I want her to release an acoustic CD sometime soon. And I want to see her play somewhere in Buffalo this winter so I can stare at her in awe for an hour and offer to warm her up after the show. 

http://youtu.be/ny641-yKH9s

Posted by JS